Ethics

The vast and free source of power that we often overlook

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I am convinced that a compliment that I have for someone else, isn’t mine to keep.

We often keep our praises and compliments for someone else for ourselves. Sometimes they are shallow, like seeing that a female co-worker has made an extra effort on her hair today or someone bought new shoes. But sometimes they run deeper, like appreciating the time someone has taken to educate you on something or be thoughtful of your private situation.

It is key to express yourself. Speak up! Inner whispers cannot be heard.

Fear

We often fear that we miscommunicate, so we refrain from communicating at all. Thoughts like:

  • Does he think I try to curry favors
  • I’m afraid that she thinks I try to hit on her
  • This person always works this good, giving a compliment now is silly
  • I think it’s inappropriate for me to say this since he or she is so much higher in the chain

are quickly in mind. There’s thousands of reasons to not do it, and it takes courage to do it.

Why should you do it anyhow?

Even though it’s hard, there are some good reasons to do it anyhow. You will see that when you practice this more often, the process will become much easier after a while.

  • Positivity is infectious. A single positive word from a person you respect dearly can make you go home and tell your friends and family about it. You did well, made effort and somebody saw and valued it. Your day can be filled with an empowering feeling that makes you perform better than ever.
  • Positive reinforcement steers better than punishment. Instead of telling what shouldn’t be done, appraise what should be done and people will follow that route.
  • It’s okay to give people compliments when you feel insecure if they are appropriate, just make sure you also tell them your doubts (in not too much detail) about giving them.
  • Telling that things are bad, will make people lose their faith and lust to work. The inverse of that is also true. Telling people they are doing good will make them feel reinforced and want to become better.
  • Threat others the way you want to be treated yourself.
  • By being thoughtful, you can create a bond of trust. This bond (especially for leaders) is necessary when times are more rough and you need your influencing skills to steer the ship with the nose in to the waves.

For leaders

To put some more emphasis on the last point, remember that trust is:

Of the three factors you can influence as a leader, at least one third is controlled by intimacy which is built by honesty, respect and a watchful eye to the person and their situation and needs. A kind sincere recognition can go a long way!

Conclusion

Take the feeling that you have when you feel recognized and verbally rewarded. That power is also within you to give to someone else. Be carefull when to apply it, and don’t overdo it. But be confident that when you think it’s time to do it, it should be done without reconsidering. Bite your tongue and wait for the response. Observe and learn from what you’ve just done.

Be conscious of the power you have unleashed to shape the day of someone else

 

 

Work ethics, rewards and private balance

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I have seen many different work-ethics. Some people are working day and night, neglecting their own needs as a human being (trust me, it will bite you once you get older). I’ve also seen others that show no interest in company goals and strive for tops 3 hour efficiency and well-groomed social media profiles every day.

 

I’m writing this blog post because I think that with the right argumentation people can get on-track, become more efficient for their bosses, but also in their personal lives.

Believe in the company goal

It’s paramount that you believe in the company goal, believe in the people that wish to go there, and believe in the fact that you’re going to achieve that goal. If you are not certain of one of these things, you should vocalize your concerns.

Why? Because your and your peers future success, and joy in daily work rides on it. You will never be able to work really hard for something if you don’t believe in the thing you are working for. Don’t forget that you spend more ‘conscious time’ at your job than you do anywhere else. So don’t waste that time and optimize whatever can be done to achieve the best results.

When you join a new company, you should really investigate what the goals are and if they are in line with what you feel is best and fitting with where you personally want to go.

Career opportunities

Never settle for the job you’ve got, always work for the job you want. Opportunities don’t automatically come your way. It’s hard work, and if you follow the company’s goals whilst not neglecting your own needs, you will achieve more.

Especially for people in tech willing to grow, I would suggest to force yourself every once in a while to perform in an uncomfortable setting. Speech in front of 50 people, be bold (not bald, that’s another blog post) and question your PO’s or clients about choices they make. Dress for your job. Anything. Just put in more effort than is minimally required. You will see that it’s uncomfortable at first (that’s a guarantee), but will boost your communication skills, technical skills and moral. You’ll be more visible on the radar.

You can be the best programmer on the planet and create something that somehow saves the world from climate disasters, but if you don’t evolve the skills to communicate about it, no one will know nor care about it.

By setting career goals, and being willing to fall while you stumble to get there, you’ll grow.

Once you know what you want, you should fight for it. Because if you cannot fight for your own worth, then how would you be able to fight for the same thing for your boss. You should always put your own goals in the scale with more weight than the company goals. But that said, this is not a black and white world. Try to scan the horizon for every possible way you can unite these two goals in to one, and be verbal about it to your boss before you let the scale decide. When he or she cares they will pursue the exact same path (a compromise or optimum that’s in some way beneficial to both parties). If they don’t, the environment you’re in might not be the good one for you and you should consider the weight of the problem and be strong enough to draw conclusions when needed.

Be worth what you are paid for

When you’ve been an entrepreneur, you’ll know – no, let me rephrase that – you’ll feel the real value of the money that you receive each month. Money doesn’t come for free from a magic tree. It’s a hard earned currency that you and your fellow colleagues have worked hard for. There’s no guarantees that it’s there next month or the month after. That’s the stone your boss might have on the bottom of his or her stomach. The risk they take and lay awake from at least a couple of nights in the year.

Employers don’t want to make decisions you don’t like, but they need to do it anyways, or they might draw the short straw on the vow they’ve made in the beginning of your employment: I shall provide money each month so my employees are rewarded for their efforts and their families mouths fed

When you negotiate with your employer, don’t negotiate beyond that what you are really worth. Make sure you can look them in the eye when you convince them of what you are worth and believe in your words. And again, if you can’t fight for your own (fair) salary, how can you fight for the income of the company. When you feel you’ve reached your capacity, know when to stop. You don’t want to work a year with the constant feeling that you’re being less productive than paid for. There are more ways you can be rewarded than with money. Think of growth opportunities, flexibility in location an times to work from or other ways.

When you create awareness for yourself what you cost the company, you can (and should) use that knowledge when you are working. Assess if you are worth your cost every once in a while. Good bosses do the same.

Work to live, not the other way around

Work hard, play hard is a good thing to keep in mind. Charge yourself, enjoy your life and reflect on what’s happening because time flies. Nurture your home situation with the same care and awareness that you apply on work. Strive for an equilibrium. You will only succeed in one or the other if you can find a balance. Life doesn’t work in sprints, it’s a marathon.

Bottom line

It’s all about balance, honesty and positivism. One could almost say that the term ‘self fulfilling prophecy’ is a derivative of newton’s third law:

When one body exerts a force on a second body, the second body simultaneously exerts a force equal in magnitude and opposite in direction on the first body

So find your optimum. Find peace and positivity or execute on thoughts or actions that enable you to do that. Put in a lot of effort and positive energy, and the reward will eventually be as good for a long time to come.